To borrow a phrase, “it’s the little things in life that matter”.  This is so true when talking about improving our lives. How often is it that when we accomplish the little things in our lives they quickly add up to huge results? It’s true in life and business. Right? So if this is true, what can we do about getting those little things done so that we can have “big” lives? Let us look at a few things that might help.

Allow Enough Time

Often, we do not allow ourselves enough time to do the little things as we are marching through our tasks and responsibilities. This is because we are over committed to too many projects and have not allotted the proper amount of time to complete them well. Learn to say ‘no’ more often to free up time that can be used for the little things. Build cushions of time to allow for the unexpected. How many times have you been rushed to get something done due to time constraints only to make one small error that requires substantial re-work or starting all over?

Live In The Now

I run into people all the time who are talking about how it will be next year or how it was in years past. Although, occasionally we need to look at those things forwards and backwards, the majority of our focus needs to be on what we are doing today and right now at this moment. That single-minded focus can create masterful work with details delivered that add up to a super product. So, check yourself daily to see that you are in fact “living in the now”.

Look Out For Others

Always seeking out what others need and want in their lives will drive us to do the little things for others that build lifetime relationships. The old adage “talk is cheap but action speaks” really is true. People will remember what we did for them and the thoughtful words of encouragement at the right time backed up by our own actions.  We were all put here on the earth to serve others. That is the reason any business exists. Therefore, we must be focused on others in order to do the little things that matter to them.

If you manage your time, live in the present and look out for others you will naturally accomplish the little things in life that will result in a great life for you and others. So go ahead, find something “little” to do.

Please share some ways that the ‘little things’ have come up for you. Or some habits you’re developed to get the ‘little things’ done. Thanks

I’ve been studying company culture for awhile now. At its’ best it drives profitability. At it’s worst you’re replacing staff every time you turn around. Who is responsible for creating your company’s culture? If  you’re the business owner, you are!!! That means you can change it if you don’t like what you’ve got. You change it by changing how you lead.

What are the benefits of creating a great culture? Why should you care? I could name dozens of reasons, For today let’s just name 4 biggies.

• 32% more productivity
• 25-100% more profit
• Ability to take a vacation
• Growth of the asset value so the company sells more easily, for more money

Here are some things that great cultures develop:

1. Culture book – a small book that employees contribute their comments to, almost like hard copy blog. It can be used to build pride among employees. It also can be used as a recruiting device.
2. Five minute beginning-of-the-day meetings where people get on the same page, share what they are going to accomplish that day and ask for resources from others. This is a stand up meeting.
3. End-of-the-day huddles where staff share great moments from the day. An appreciative customer’s comments, something that went really right, thanks to each other for specific kindnesses or making the ‘transaction’ go so smoothly. These can be video or audio recorded and loaned to prospects and new staff to show them what it’s like to work there.
4. A clearly communicated vision for the company’s future that everyone understands and is motivated to contribute to.
5. Clearly communicated values that everyone lives, especially leaders who model value oriented behaviors for everyone else.
6. Very selective hiring practices that prioritize alignment of vision and values before task related skills.
7. At least 4 institutionalized programs that give appreciation, respect and encouragement (ARE) to employees.
8. Random acts of ARE that happen often and unexpectedly
9. Development of the character of employees in addition to the job related skill training. Development indicates that the company is interested in growing the individual as a leader, that you will be better at whatever you do if you know your personal vision and values so you can see whether or not they align with the company’s
10. Survey of the employees at least once a year
11. Managers who regularly ask their frontline staff, ‘How can I best support you?’
12. The philosophy that the frontline staff person who talks to the client everyday is the most important employee of the company.  He’s always touching the ‘boss’ that pays everybody’s salaries (the customer) he gets the best feedback (which contributes to innovation), he handles most of the customer complaints, he’s in the best position to ensure that the customer continues to spend their money with you.

Please add your thoughts and comments. I’d love to hear from you.

As I write this I’m living and working in New York City. Everywhere I look there is abundant wealth. Between investment bankers, hedge funds, luxury shopping, big negotiated deals, skyscrapers being bought and sold, all kinds of businesses buying all kinds of services, people feeling the need to buy to satisfy a variety of needs and wants. There is a lot of money flowing and being exchanged. One might say it’s an abundance of wealth. You also can liken it to the ocean. It’s big, bigger than you can naturally comprehend.

So how do you participate in the ocean of wealth flowing all around you? Can you see it, hear it and touch it? Do you know others who participate in it more than you do? Do you want more of that ocean of wealth to flow through you? After all, you really don’t keep money. You may work for money, it flows to you and your checking and savings account. But then you pay your bills, or you put it in investments held and used by others such as your bank or the stock market. You don’t really hold your money, you participate in the flow of your money. Perhaps you hide it under your mattress, but then it’s not working for you and it’s value diminishes. Other than hoarding, money is flowing and being exchanged for goods and services along the way.

I grew up on Long Island and went to the beach every day as a kid. I can visualize walking up to the waters edge and getting my toes tickled by the waves. I had a sand pail and could scoop up the water. Can you visualize this? I also had a shovel and a cup. I could dip the shovel and get a little water. The cup would hold more. The pail would hold even more. If you think of people in your life who remain poor, it’s similar to them walking up to the ocean’s edge with a shovel. They dip it into the ocean of abundance and they participate in the flow of money in a very small way. Others bring a cup. Still others bring a pail. And some bring a truck. So we see various levels of wealth.

Our wealth is dependent on the container we bring. What determines what container we bring? Our expectations of ourselves. There are countless stories of people with little money who have won the lottery only to lose everything within 3 years. Their self-concept was a like a shovel. It was filled to overflowing and because they didn’t change the size of their container, the water just overflowed and seeped back into  the sand. Then there are ‘rags to riches’ stories of immigrants or poor people who pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and became multi-millionaires. They expanded their containers by expanding who they were and what their expectations were. Napoleon Hill wrote Think and Grow Rich after interviewing hundreds of people who expanded themselves by reading, strategizing with others who knew more, having wealthy mentors. They grew themselves so they could handle the flow of more wealth. They grew their own containers. Look at Donald Trump. He loses it all and then gains it all back. His container is big and he is used to having it be full. When it empties, it fills right back up again because that’s his expectation.

How can you grow your container so you can have more wealth flowing through you?

• It’s been said that you’re the average of the 3 people you spend the most time with. You will gravitate to the level of the people around you. For me I wanted my kids to go to elementary, intermediate and high schools where I knew they would be around other achieving college-bound students with caring parents. So we moved to an area where we could find that. It was my expectation and I sought it out. As a result my kids didn’t think twice about going to college. It was their expectation that they would get a college education and become productive in the world. In your own life you will have to stop spending so much time with people who think small, and spend more time with people who think bigger.
• You can read and listen to all the self-improvement materials you can handle. You can attend events and conferences meant to expand your thinking and awareness. The point of effectiveness is to really believe and apply them. Often a coach helps you internalize how it all applies to you, asks you deeper questions, helps you face the fear of change and giving up old paradigms and unproductive deep-seated beliefs, helps you discover the kernel of yourself that you can transport to a higher level of wealth, achievement and self-conscious living. I once worked with a young man who wasn’t very fond of networking and it was holding back his career. He had inherited from his father the attitude that going to events and meeting people at the same or higher wealth level was inauthentic and exploitative.  When we reframed it that all people who are networking were there to meet other people and grow their contacts for future business, then he would network at places where he would fit in easily (who all had the same size containers). Once he was invited to an event through his employer at the offices of President Clinton. Of course, people with lots of money and political clout were there as it was a fund raiser. He felt out of his element and on his way home had to stop at a local bar for a beer so he could feel more comfortable again. He wasn’t ready to have his container stretched. Since then we’ve stretched his self-image so that now he feels he belongs at higher profile events and he has gone to similar events comfortably.
• You can join a mastermind of people who are at the level you want to attain. You can breathe in the assumptions of success that come naturally to others and that you’re acclimatizing yourself to. You start to think like them and act like them and get included in the resources they share, the projects they do together. Before you know it you may be looking forward to the next group at an even higher level of wealth flow, expectation of success and container largesse. These groups might be formal or informal. But it will certainly have an effect on you, your perception of yourself and your expectations of what you deserve.

This is essentially what we call your container: what you feel you deserve and what you expect of yourself and those around you, what you seek because of your comfort level with that level of success and achievement. It’s true in wealth building, in education, in happiness, in self-awareness and conscious living. You get what you expect. If your container is small, when you dip it into the ocean of wealth, you will get a small amount. If your container is larger, you will get a large amount. The size of the ocean doesn’t change. It’s there for anybody. If you pull up a tanker truck to the ocean and put your hose in and pump the ocean water into the truck and fill it to capacity, you certainly participate in the flow of wealth in a much bigger way. Have you made the ocean smaller even by taking a lot? No, because it’s just flowing through you. Does the size of your container make a difference in your life? Certainly. Can you choose to upgrade the size of your container? Certainly, but only if you want it at the deepest level, and you are willing to change, giving up the known past to move into the unknown future.

Please comment on the changes you’ve had to make to participate more fully in the flow of wealth.

Imagine that you are enclosed in a see-thru bubble. It encompasses you and everything that is comfortable for you to do. All your habits that are convenient are in your comfort zone bubble. How you interact with people in your workplace or your home, the smiles, the intelligent answers, the work that you do, the level of effort you put in, your attitudes are all in this bubble. All those actions that come easily, those automatic responses, those things that you do everyday without thinking about them, they are all in there. Researchers says that 88% of what we do everyday is done on autopilot.  Also included in your autopilot comfort zone are responses where somebody pushes your buttons and you react with defensiveness or anger. Or perhaps you need to eat to make yourself feel better, or you get stuck in status quo thinking.  Deeply entrenched patterns both positive and negative developed over a lifetime are part of your comfort zone bubble.

It’s good to have this bubble because if we had to make a zillion choices a minute, we would get really bogged down. It’s great that we’ve created these habits based on what’s worked in the past. These ingrained habits are what the rest of the world sees. What we all don’t see is that these neural pathways have become speedways in the brain. Our neurons used in comfort zone behaviors have developed shortcuts and speedways. The more we practice these habits the more we strengthen the speedways among the neural connections, so they get even more ingrained. Did you ever watch a child who is learning to tie her shoes? Her fingers fumble and she has to think through each step painstakingly. Little by little the neural pathways get established, each movement gets easier and linked to the prior movement. In a while she is accomplishing the whole sequence of movements, and then the movements get faster and faster.  Then she can do it without even watching, and even while her brain is focused on having a conversation with somebody else.

But patterns developed at an early age are not always appropriate for us to use today. In fact patterns that dealt with an economic world pre2008 may not be effective today.  If we want to change and have improved results personally and professionally, we have to reach outside our current comfort zone bubble and develop new behaviors. We have to expand the comfort zone bubble to include new actions. Perhaps we want to think bigger, communicate differently, be more positive, achieve more sales, organize our time better or manage others better. To develop this new behavior, most people will start with a goal. It’s an intention to do something new and build a new habit. That means the new habit and, therefore, a new neural pathway needs to be built and used so often that it replaces the old neural pathway. Does this produce anxiety and discomfort? It sure does. The discomfort felt is in direct proportion to how ingrained the old pattern is. That’s why it’s often said that the ‘breakdown happens right before the breakthrough.’ That’s why breaking a habit and substituting a new behavior takes practice. It normally takes some time to change the neural pathways to develop new speedways. It takes repetition. It takes commitment to work through the uncomfortable stage till the new behavior becomes part of the comfort zone bubble.

So how does this apply to you? When you determine that you want to achieve a goal, plan on it generating some discomfort. Look at that discomfort as a necessary part of the process. Plan on what you will do or say to yourself when those times of doubt occur. Assess your commitment now. Are you willing to deal with some anxiety and push through it to be successful? Will you need tools like a journal or a vision board (a collection of pictures that help you see yourself with the goal accomplished) or a mind movie (same thing with moving images and music)? Be realistic about the time frame required to practice and establish the neural pathways. Plan on making mistakes and falling back into old habits occasionally as you strive to change those behaviors. Be kind and forgiving to yourself, realize this is part of the process. And then just start again and make progress in small increments.

Creating that neural pathway in your brain to get the new behavior ingrained and internalized is like exercising a muscle. It builds up little by little. It requires your time and attention just like the child learning to tie her shoe laces. Once that new behavior is part of your comfort zone bubble, celebrate. Pat yourself on the back. Feel good and assimilate both your new behavior and your ability to change into your self-image.  Feel your self-confidence grow. Then get focused on expanding your comfort zone bubble again with a new goal. You are on a self-growth path that will have a ripple effect on yourself and those around you.

Please comment on how this process works for you. Feel free to give examples that others may be able to relate to.

We’ve just celebrated St. Patrick’s Day. Some of us like to celebrate it all year long no matter what color the beer is. Leprechauns, shamrocks, pots of gold and the luck of the Irish are all part of the folklore surrounding this holiday. Let’s talk about luck.

Some people appear very lucky. Opportunities fall into their laps. They ‘just’ happen to meet the right people who take a liking to them and give their careers a boost (example 1). Or the entrepreneur coincidentally runs into someone who wants to produce a show about them and give them free PR (example 2).  Or the right person just stops in, gets hired and turns out to be the best employee (example 3).

Is this really just happenstance? Let’s look more closely at luck. The saying often goes that ‘luck is where preparation meets opportunity.’ Certainly if the individuals in the above examples had not been in their positions, they would not have been ‘ripe’ for the happenstance that occurred to them. I would even say that if the person hadn’t been prepared, the occurrence would not have even been recognized as an opportunity. Let’s look at a few elements of this.

Barbara Fredrickson is the author of the book Positivity. She has worked and researched in the field of positive psychology for over 10 years, since it was first developed. We often think of psychology like the medical model, fix the body when it breaks. On the other hand positive psychology is more like wellness. How can we create states of happiness and mental well being? In the research that she has performed those who were trained to think positive thoughts on a 3 to 1 ratio over negative thoughts, lived a more ‘flourishing life’. They not only were happier, they attracted more opportunities for what they desired. This makes sense. Don’t you like to do more and go out of your way for positive people? Doesn’t honey attract more bees than vinegar? Why wouldn’t someone take a liking to you and want to give you the gift of a career boost if you make his day a better day every time you meet (example 1).

Secondly, there is power in intention. Did you ever buy a car and then start noticing all the same models on the road that you never noticed before? If you set a defined goal and focus on achieving the action steps leading to the completion of that goal, you become like an icebreaker plowing through the icebergs and creating momentum as you go. A business leader who has passion for her big ‘why’, the reason she wants to be in business, talks about her mission and draws to her others who feel the same way, who admire her energy and dedication, and who want to help. (example #2)

Some things that appear to be luck are just unrecognized capability. In example #3, where a ‘drop-in’ becomes a great employee, who is really responsible for that person becoming a great employee? It could easily have turned out badly if that employee had been belittled, micromanaged, unchallenged, and denied opportunities to excel in alignment with his best talents. Instead the manager most likely placed him in the right role, encouraged him to train and excel in alignment with his strengths, let him develop a sense of mastery and freedom in his role and motivated him toward a greater purpose or company vision. It wasn’t luck. The manager unconsciously set it up that way and didn’t even realize it.

What do these 3 examples mean for us in our work situations? We have choice. We have more control over our destinies than the ‘luck of the Irish’. First, we can train ourselves to be positive and appreciative and improve our outlook. It’s like a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger and more consistent it becomes. Secondly, we can set goals, put intentions and passions out into the world and attract others who want to help us and join us. Isn’t that a big part of leadership, earning the trust and devotion of followers?  Leadership is a skill that can be developed. Thirdly, we can look at our relationships with others to bring out their best. We can adjust our behaviors to draw out the best in others to create the best working environment. When we choose to run our businesses and live our personal and professional lives with conscious awareness of these choices and their potential opportunities, it can lead to more ‘luck’ than any pot of gold, leprechaun or shamrock can provide.

Do you have a comment or example that you can add? We’d love to have your thoughts.

In honor of the New Year and new intentions, let’s talk about a word we probably all use frequently—it’s a very powerful word, but not in the way you might think.   It’s the word TRY. How often do we use that word in the context of something we are doing, a goal we are setting, an objective we are reaching for?  It’s hard to even write that last sentence without using “try,” as in “something we are trying to do, an objective we are trying to achieve.”

“Try” has become part of our vocabulary, but it limits our abilities to focus on a goal and commit completely to achieving something. As a way to illustrate this, let’s do a quick activity.  If you are sitting down, stand up.  Are you standing?  Now … try to sit back down.  No, don’t sit down, TRY to sit down.  How did that work?  What do you notice?   The bottom line:  You can’t try to sit down – you either sit down or you don’t.

Is that same principle not also true of goals or something we set our minds to – that we either do them or we don’t? We either accomplish or don’t accomplish what we set out to do.  In a take-off from what Tom Hanks said in the movie League of Our Own, “there’s no trying in life.”  (Well, he actually said, “there’s no crying in baseball,” but you get the point!)

The point is that you can’t try to achieve whatever you set out to achieve – ultimately, you either achieve it or you don’t.  Consider how often we either hear others say “try” or we say “try” ourselves.   How much more powerful and accomplished might we be if we took that pesky three-letter word out of our vocabulary?  Here are some examples across a wide spectrum of areas:

• Your kids: from “Yes, Mom, I’ll try to get my homework done before dinner,” … to … “Yes, Mom, I’ll get my homework done before dinner.”
• In a meeting at your workplace: from “I’ll try to talk with them about the project,” … to … “I’ll talk with them about the project.”
• With your wife/husband/significant other: from “Let’s try to spend more time together on the weekends,” … to … “Let’s spend more time together on the weekends.”
• In your life: from “I’m trying to exercise three times a week,” … to … “I am exercising three times a week.”

Do you notice the difference in how the statements above sound when the word try is in them or not in them?

So, here is your challenge: For the next week, don’t just try to do whatever you are focused on – do it without the “try” in your sentence.  Catch others in the act too – have them try to sit down to illustrate your point.  And as always, let me know how it goes!

As the new year starts and we question what we are going to do and how are we going to it in 2011, it pays to keep our perspective on what service we are providing and then set goals accordingly.

One main purpose of goals is to set a plan in place that will help the goal setter achieve his purpose of serving others. If we analyze the purpose for any business or person it is to serve others in some way. It may be counterintuitive but before someone makes a decision to go forward on a goal in their life or business, the question should be “What will serve my or our purpose best?” In other words, how will the results of a stated goal serve the overall purpose of the individual or organization?

Here are some questions to begin the process:

• What things are getting in the way of our purpose?
• What results will serve our purpose best?
• How will we achieve those results?
• What specific goals must we set to achieve those results?
• How will the achievement of those goals serve all of our stakeholders, including family, friends, community, employees, vendors and customers?
• Why would the achievement of these goals be important to our stakeholders?

Once you have answered these questions it should become clearer as to which goals will provide the best pathway to service.

In summary, if we can clearly identify what our particular service is, then it becomes easy to identify what goals we should be working on and eliminate all those that do not align with that purpose.

What are your thoughts on the concept of your service and the goals you are planning in order to move toward its realization?

John Assaraf has been a leader in understanding how to use the most recent brain research to retrain the brain to work in our favor in creating health, wealth, and happy relationships. Since appearing in the Secret, he’s been a featured writer, speaker and thought leader.

This video is a great explanation of how our inner attitudes and habits influence our behavior. He talks about the parts of the brain that hold us back and how we can override ‘past programming’ and be drawn into a future that we envision. This is exactly the process I use with business owners and their staff to transform and up-level the organization into a new level of performance. Both John and I include extensive work on goals, repetition, affirmations, positivity, action and focusing on the things you want to bring into your business and life. Focusing on problems, scarcity of resources, and negativity just brings more of it into your life.

Click the image to see the video:

I hope you enjoy this video. It could offer a major turning point in how you take control of your thoughts and emotions to lead a more fulfilling life.

With the holidays coming and the stress associated with the usual everyday stuff, lots of people develop headaches. I certainly have had tension headaches. In this radio conversation Michele Risa and I talk about where headaches come from and what you can do to lessen the tension naturally. Michele works with clients using a wholistic view of health, As a certified yoga instructor she works with individuals on regenerating the mind and spirit as well as the body, to reenergize, sharpen the mind, stimulate creativity and put executives at the top of their game.

Enjoy the podcast. Our Thanksgiving gift to you.

Ok, ready or not, I’d like to plant a tune and possibly even an image in your head: Do you remember Cyndi Lauper’s hit “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!” from the early 1980s? The song is so upbeat and infectious that you can’t help but feel better while listening to it. The video for the song shows Cyndi and her friends dancing in the streets, having a party, and generally having a great time. Got the picture? That looks like a lot of fun doesn’t it? And who doesn’t love to have fun (would you admit it if you don’t)? But, the key question is: are you having enough fun?

We all contend with plenty of stressors every day, which can make it difficult to relax and really enjoy ourselves on a regular basis. I like this definition of stress: any factor that threatens the health of the body or has an adverse effect on its functioning.  To get a better handle on your current situation, it is helpful to become more aware of what causes you stress.

Ask yourself questions, such as:

• What is stressful to me?

• How does stress affect me?

• When am I most vulnerable to stress?

• When is stress good for me?

It’s been said that “awareness causes that space where choice exists.” So, as you become more aware about the specifics of stress in your life, you can make better decisions about how to minimize it and its effects. Stress often comes from focusing on what makes you feel BAD; your fears and limiting beliefs. Understanding this, why not focus on what makes you feel GOOD? Fun is a great counter-balance to stress…for both your mental and physical well-being.

In his The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun video, Michael Bungay Stanier lays forth some wonderful ideas for having more fun in your life.

1. Get focused: Stop hiding who you really are. It’s important to understand who you are and what you’re all about. Then, let is shine!
2. Get focused: Start being intensely selfish. Don’t waste your time on anything other than what is most important to you.
3. Be creative: Stop following the rules. It’s no longer about what you can’t do; it’s about what you can do.
4. Be creative: Start scaring yourself. Explore the edges; seek out and have adventures.
5. Use your wisdom: Stop taking it all so damn seriously. Lighten up – this too will pass.
6. Use your wisdom: Start getting rid of the crap. What’s holding you down and getting in your way?
7. Take action: Stop being busy. Just because you’re going flat out, doesn’t mean you’re on the right track.
8. Take action: Get creative and start something. Lou Holtz said “When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.” Don’t let that be you.

So let’s all get busy and start having more fun. I’m not implying that you should run outside and dance around with your friends like Cyndi Lauper did. But, on the other hand, if it works for you…go for it! What is fun is an individual thing: fun for one person may not be for another. Know what works for you…and take the time to have fun as often as possible!

Now, I challenge you to get Cyndi’s catchy tune out your head (“Girls just wanna, they just wanna have fun…”).

How many times have you sat through a sales meeting or any meeting for that matter where you’ve heard someone make the suggestion: “We’ve got to think outside the box.” It’s a phrase that doesn’t need a whole lot of explanation. In fact, it’s seems like the perfect phrase to capture the frustration we experience when our imagination feels trapped and our thoughts appear stuck to the soles of our shoes.

If we think of this metaphorical box as containing the walls that confine our thinking, then by understanding these barriers we open up the opportunity to break free and take control of our negative senses and use the power of our thoughts to develop new ideas and opportunities. In the Little Red Book of Selling, Jeffrey Gittomer outlined the 8.5 negative senses that the subconscious mind presents and projects when selling, which become the walls that paralyze our thinking:

1.    The sense of fear.
2.    The sense of nervousness.
3.    The sense of rejection.
4.    The sense of procrastination or reluctance.
5.    The sense of justification/rationale. 6. The sense of self-doubt.
7.    The sense of uncertainty.
8.     The sense of doom.
8.5.  The sense of “I’m unlucky.”

Understanding that our minds move us in the direction of our current dominant thoughts, we have the ability to penetrate these walls by focusing our attention to our positive thoughts and taking back control. When you begin to feel in control, you begin to radiate positive energy, which leads to (sales) success. According to Gittomer, adopting the following 6 positive sales senses is the way forward….

1. The sense of confidence…. The air you have about you that’s bred by preparation and previous wins. The best part about confidence is that it’s contagious. You can give it to your prospect. (Don’t confuse confidence with its evil twin – arrogance.)
2. The sense of positive anticipation – Everyone has read the best book on the subject before the age of five. – The Little Engine That Could. I think I can, I think I can. Thinking you can is 50% of the outcome (So is thinking you can’t.)
3. The sense of determination – The sense of hanging in there no matter what. Determination is having the prospect tell you “no,” and you hear it as, “not yet.”
4. The sense of achievement – Everyone subconsciously strives for their goals. Sensing achievement comes from a replay of the satisfaction you gained from making your last sale. Remember how good it felt?
5. The sense of winning – Everyone wants to win, but only a few actually do. That’s because the will to prepare to win must exceed the will to win.
6. The sense of success – This is the hardest sense to master, because you must sense it before you actually achieve it. That calm feeling of money in the bank. An “I can do it” attitude. And a well-lit path in front of you. The sense of positive purpose.

Earl Nightingale, in his legendary tape, “The Strangest Secret,” says, “You become what you think about.” Truer words have never been spoken. But the secret to “The Strangest Secret,” is – It’s a dedicated self-discipline that must be practiced every day. How close to “every day” are you?

The most interesting aspect of “The Strangest Secret,” is that it contains the counter balance to turn all your destructive senses into constructive senses by employing the strongest sense of them all – common sense.

I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on this. Please leave your comment about your thoughts during your sales process.

I was running late for an appointment last week and jumped into my car and turned the key. The nice smooth sound of ignition I was so used to hearing was replaced by the horrible grinding sound of an engine just about to turnover. I kept turning the key thinking that by some miracle it would stop the grinding noise and just start. Instead it drained what was left in the battery and silence followed. I was dead in the water.

How many times have you found yourself ready to go but unable to move. You lack the spark and or energy to move forward. Where did it go? You might have started out on your goal, journey or project with plenty of good intentions but for whatever reason it dissipated or just stopped. As a student of human behavior and a Business Coach I am brutally aware of the difficulty of keeping ourselves motivated to get to where we want to go.

Do These Work?

The traditional motivation methods most of us have experienced are motivation by incentive or fear. The boss tries to scare you into action by threats that range from firing to demotion. The next day in a change of heart the boss offers you the promise of bonuses, promotion or equity if you achieve the goal. Clearly both can have an impact, and often do, but the results are usually short term at best. Threats lose their veracity if they are never acted on. Incentives are only effective if you believe the goal is achievable but lose their long term impact once achieved. Neither approach has a long lasting motivational impact. So what is one to do if you want to change or achieve a difficult goal but can’t seem to stay motivated to do what is necessary to get to your destination?

Find Out What Excites You

I believe part of the answer is in finding what sparks us or excites us. If you can discover what you are passionate about and harness that passion you can access an unlimited battery of inspiration energy to keep you motivated and moving forward. Discovering your passion can be difficult since most of us have followed the career scripts provided to us by well meaning parents, educators and society.

• A simple way to start would be to list all the activities you do in your present job that you enjoy doing and are good at.
• The next step would be to ask your peers, friends, clients and family what they think your greatest strengths are.  You should get some clarity on what you are passionate about and what truly motivates you.
• Finally, a good book that gives some insight to the power of connecting your passion to business is “Crush It!” by Gary Vaynerchuk

Aligning your passion with the behaviors necessary to convert that passion into results assures you a consistent spark that will keep your motor running!

Please offer your comments on what you do to sustain your motivation, spark your energy and keep yourself moving forward every day.

When networking, your aim is to meet new people or reinforce old relationships. It’s all about the relationship, helping it to grow and making it deeper. You’re not there to sell or just hand out business cards. You are there to get people to know, like and trust you. If you act like a nincompoop, that will never happen. You want to let your new contact know that you are interested in him and his business and you want to give.

Ivan Mizner calls it ‘Givers Gain’. Eventually you do gain. But only if you give first and give authentically. You give because you want to help, because two people you introduce could find real value and you have the opportunity to make it happen, because you’re a good and caring person. When they do get to know, like and trust you, opportunities will flow your way.

So what do you talk about? You ask them questions. Sure you might say a sentence or less when they ask what you do. But mostly it’s you asking them questions. Bob Burg in his book Endless Referrals provides this list of Feel Good Questions®. Don’t forget to listen.

1. How did you get your start in the widget business? (no, don’t actually say widget, substitute the person’s business)
2. What do you enjoy most about your profession?
3. What separates you and your company from the competition?
4. What advice would you give somebody just getting started in the widget business?
5. What one thing would you do with your business if you knew you could not fail?
6. What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession through the years?
7. What do you see as the coming trends in the widget business?
8. Describe the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your business.
9. What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business?
10. What one sentence would you like people to use in describing the way you do business?

You’ll probably only be able to ask 2 or 3 in any one networking conversation. If you want to extend the conversation about any one area, you can say, ‘tell me more.’ You can also use the echo technique  where you repeat back the last 3 or 4 words with  a question mark in your voice. Then the other person takes it where he left off.

Here is the ultimate question you want to ask even if you can’t ask more than one of the Feed Good Questions^®.

How can I know if someone I’m speaking to is a good prospect for you or is someone you’d like to meet?

You can also ask FORM questions.

F Family
O Occupation
R Recreation
M Message about what they deem important

The key is to listen intently and really care. Asking good questions to get the conversation going will earn respect and warm wishes. You can’t ask for more.

Do you have some additional questions you like to use? Please share them with us here. Thank you.

We’re coming into the fall get-busy-again season which means a renewed effort at meeting new prospects and strategic partners. In a previous post  we listed the 10 Commandments of Networking. Here are some more tips that can help make your networking efforts more successful.

- Wear something that makes you stand out, still business like and very professional, but something unique that others will remember when you follow up. “Remember me. I was wearing the oriental jacket” or “the jazzy tie.”

- Make sure you have two pockets, one for your own cards, and one for the cards you receive.

- Eat before you go. It’s too difficult to manage a drink and a plate and exchanging cards and shaking hands. You’re there for a purpose. Focus on it.

- Adjust your attitude before going in. Read things that motivate you and are empowering. Listen to music that pumps you up. Think about how people need what you have to offer.

- Go early. Ask to help. You’ll get to see the attendee list and focus on who you want to meet. You’ll ingratiate yourself to the organizer and s/he will introduce you to people you ask about.

- Watch the way you stand. If you want to talk to someone without interruptions, face him/her directly. If you want a third person to join you, face the other person diagonally and leave room for the third to join. Create an open space that acts as an invitation.

- Have a short (less than ten words) framing statement that answers the proverbial question “What do you do?”  Make it results oriented so people are forced to ask other questions like, “How do you do that?” Make your answer short. Make it about them, not about you. Ask, “What would be a good referral for you?” “What’s your specialty?” “What geographic areas do you serve?” Prepare your questions and practice.

-  Remember, it’s net-work, not net-sit. No sitting allowed. Move around.

- You are there to gather information, not to sell. Selling will fall on deaf ears.

- It’s not who talks… It’s who listens. You have two ears and only one mouth for a reason.

- If you go with an associate, split up and work the room separately for double the results.

- Greet people and introduce them to others, find a “wall flower” and shepherd him/her around the room. You’ve just made a friend for life.

- Put your name tag on your right lapel, directly in the line of sight when someone shakes your hand.

Have some other tips you would like to share with us? Please leave a comment on what has worked well for you.

Affirmations are powerful statements you tell yourself to move yourself into a positive reality, statements that you know at other times to be true, statements that empower you to bring out your best when you get into dangerous territory of thinking about the negative.

We all experience things that seek to destroy our motivation, setbacks when circumstances don’t go as expected, a prospect that decides not to move forward, a personal injury or family emergency that forces us to take time out, a negative comment that causes some of our underlying fears to surface.

We have a choice. We can play tapes in our heads that give into that emotional distress and put us in victim mode. Or we can play different tapes, ones that are uplifting, empowering, inspiring, confirming our value to ourselves and to others.

Here’s a fun video about a young girl who knows how to think positive.

This is one of my favorite videos on Youtube. It’s all about positivity, smiling, attracting people by how you make each person feel. This is the basis of client loyalty, that personal connection that makes people want to be around you. Each person in this short video feels validated and encouraged to shine.

I mentioned the video in passing in a previous post. Kudos to you if you can find it or remember which post it is. Please tell the rest of the readers. Yeah, you got it. This is a teaser to get you to look at some previous posts.

Please relate a short story of when someone else’s smile was so infectious that you just had to smile as well. All these stories will help all our readers get ideas on how to create more attraction and loyalty in their lives and businesses. Please tell one of your experiences where you felt validated and encouraged to shine.

I always like your stories.

Happy Independence Day! When I meet a coaching prospect, we talk about their goals. We keep talking until we get to the core. We peel back the superficial layers, like peeling away the layers of an onion. Eventually we get to the inner issues. What are they? People want freedom, financial freedom, freedom from stress about money, health, tension, boredom, pressure. They want options and the wisdom to choose and use the options wisely.

Of course, with freedom comes responsibility. We learned that in American history. If you want an American revolution, if you want to have freedom from taxes on your tea, you then have to run the country yourself. If you want choices, then you have to take responsibility for the choices you make. If you take the responsibility, then you deserve the freedom. Hence no ‘taxation without representation’. Our Independence Day holiday is a reminder of all that we hold dear nationally, our individual freedoms that we fight wars to maintain.

But what about some other freedoms? We get caught in habits, auto pilot types of reactions to situations, somebody pushing our buttons, entrapments of our own self-limitations of how little value we think we can  accomplish in the world, ideas about how much or how little we deserve, chips on our shoulders that cause us to think small or play the victim. What about these examples of loss of freedom? They happen in both our professional and personal lives.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• If you are way too heavy, are you giving yourself the freedom to live a longer, higher quality, energy rich, healthy life?
• If you’re stuck in a job you don’t like, are you giving yourself the freedom to be happy, engaged, productive and developing your true potential?If you have conflicts with a loved one, are you giving yourself the freedom to live a harmonious life surrounded by love rather than conflict?
• If you have undeveloped talents and passions that you’re afraid to uncover, are you giving yourself the freedom to live the adventure of true authenticity and ease?

My mother always said, ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way.’ ‘If you can’t find a door, open a window’. The way to independence may not be easy,(i.e. American Revolution) but if you’re committed to true independence, you will find a way to make it happen, people who can help, passion to motivate yourself and others. That’s the responsibility part. That’s when you’re truly independent and not marching to someone else’s drum.

Will you abdicate your freedom or take responsibility to create the life of freedom that you deserve? Please leave your comments about personal freedom and independence as we celebrate our national independence day. Thanks. Enjoy!

Recently I hurt my knee, devastating for a dancer. I got an MRI and found out I tore both menisci and a ligament. So I started going to physical therapy. Some of the physical therapy work is on specific things for my knee, tracking of the knee over the toes for good alignment, exercises for flexibility of the knee, building up the strength of the small muscles that surround the knee and knee cap. But most of the work is general strengthening, not only of the knee but of the back, interior pelvic muscles, quad and hamstring muscles, ankle and foot. Why am I telling you all this?

In your business, everything is related. Just like your body and leg. If your knee or your marketing (for instance) is broken, it affects everything else. Yes, you have to look at specific things like your marketing activities. But you also have to look at strengthening your general business outlook such as how you handle time management, your mindset, your decision making abilities, your vision and values. You need to strengthen these things continually so that your business systems flourish. Things like marketing activities, sales conversions, budgeting, staff management don’t happen in a vacuum. They are all connected like the back to the hip to the knee to the ankle to the foot. Together they create a strong balanced environment. They grow together and support each other. Are you growing your mindset, your possibility thinking, your positivity? Are you opening your mind to seek new opportunities? Are you creating repeatable systems that offer some predictability? Are you focused on your vision and adhering to your values? Are the specifics written into a business plan to make sure that what you’re doing actually leads you to the goals you seek? Are your systems measuring what’s working and what’s not so you can make changes that yield better results? If you were going to prescribe physical therapy for your business, what would you do to yield better success?

But then, that begs the questions, why do people like me call what I do business coaching? Why don’t we call it business therapy? What are your thoughts?

You have a choice to think positively or negatively. You can choose to listen to that voice inside your head that says, ‘You’re procrastinating again.’ Or ‘I didn’t have to let that edge creep into my voice.’ Or ‘I’m in a lousy mood and it’s so easy to complain, but what would that accomplish?’

You can consciously choose to stay stuck in non-productive habits and attitudes. Or you can choose something that will make a difference, lead to better outcomes and start the formation of new more productive habits and attitudes.

A good example: The last Tuesday in March it rained in NYC torrents and torrents of water. It didn’t let up all day. It was windy and umbrellas got blown apart and the day got colder as it went on. Of course, a couple of weeks ago I had made appointments so I was walking around the city going from appointment to appointment, most of which were with new prospects. My feet were wet. The bottom of my pant legs were wet. My umbrella broke.

If I went into each meeting complaining about the weather and my lousy luck to have appointments all over the city in the rain, it would put a damper (no pun intended) on the ensuing conversation. Who’s going to hire a negative business coach? So I chose to keep my attitude ‘up’. All day long I walked through the rain picturing Gene Kelly dancing to ‘Singing in the Rain.’ Do you remember the movie? He dances with the street lamp, his umbrella, the curb and the puddles. He splashes in the water enjoying it like a party. I danced my way appointment to appointment singing and splashing and kicking up my heels. I had a great time. My prospects were engaged. I enjoyed every one of them. I had one of my most upbeat days and I was very pleased that all the prospects wanted to continue our conversations.

You have choice in every moment. Every time you do something or open your mouth, you can choose something positive and productive or negative and unproductive. What will you choose? Will you choose to ask for feedback for habits you’ve developed that might be blind spots? Will you choose to dump old habits and form new ones? What will that take? Coaching, journaling, a 360 evaluation, a reflective time away from everybody, creating a trigger to remind you about a change you want to make? Nobody said it would be easy to change existing habits and thought patterns. Will you choose to be helpful or oblivious to what you see going on around you? Remember, not choosing or putting off a choice is itself a choice.

What are the trade-offs? Happy faces, more progress? Seeing more opportunities? Getting unstuck? Not missing opportunities even if you saw them before? How much more profitable could your business be? What better life balance could you have?

How can you apply this to your choices and the choice in every moment? If you’re not sure what you’re missing out on or what other choices you could be making, let’s talk.

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Are you waiting for a stimulus package that will really have an effect on your small business? Maybe it will come and maybe it will touch you. Maybe you’ll be out of business by then. You can’t control a lot of what happens in the macro-economic world, but you can control what happens in your own environment. You can stimulate your own economy. You are the master of your own future. What you believe to be true, you will make happen by what you do and don’t do. Here are two ways to make money in this economy:

Capitalizing on new opportunities.
Being so positive that you attract what you need.

Capitalizing On New Opportunities

In this economy, what do businesses want more than anything else, need more now than this time last year when things were better? More sales, more cash, right? So how can you be a player in getting them what they want while you take a small piece of every transaction? Find businesses with extra inventory, extra staff capacity, extra space, extra trucking capacity, a mailing list, or any under utilized asset; then match each of them up with another business that needs those exact things. Both benefit and you take a piece of the new sales or savings that result.

Put yourself in the middle of a profit making/saving exchange. What is your area of expertise? Do you know the players in your field, the vendors, the trade association, the customers? What can you do to get the players together that benefits them all? A bigger joint buying contract from a supplier who is happy to have the business and offer the discount? A hurting advertising media source who appreciates that you’re negotiated a buying contract with several advertisers all at once, when he wasn’t sure he’d be getting any? A reciprocal endorsement campaign that wouldn’t have happened without your engineering it? Businesses that have complementary but different products who can market together to the same audience?

People are still buying, they’re just buying more carefully. Do a good match that provides benefits to both parties and creates value for the buyer and you’ve got a winner.

If you know of businesses with extra capacity, space, staff time, client lists please email me. I’ll match them up to businesses with whom they can make a deal and both generate more cash flow.

Being So Positive That You Attract What You Need

I was at a meeting today where the fill-in facilitator was describing the regular facilitator. “She is just so warm and welcoming that she seems to have an aura. You can’t help but want to be around her.” Has anybody ever described you that way? If you were that positive and magnetic, wouldn’t more people be attracted to doing business with you? Watch this video about ‘Validation’. It’s fun and also has a message. By validating others, people want to be around you. How can you build your positive attitude?

I recently went to hear Dr. Barbara Frederickson be interviewed about her research and new book called Positivity. She found that a 3 to 1 ratio of positive to negative feelings each day creates a flourishing life. When people are positive, they are open and they gather and attract more resources. Therefore, they are presented with more opportunities for growth and success. You can go to her website each day and take an emotional assessment that will calculate and track your positivity ratio so you can grow it over time.

Appreciative inquiry is a solution creation strategy used often in organizations to ask the right questions that will help grow appreciation of the individuals as well as glass-half-full thinking. Because it helps participants focus on and discuss times of appreciation, it heals wounds, builds consensus and gets buy-in for win-win solutions. Imagine this in contrast: Studying and analyzing poor morale in order to ‘fix’ it. The more we focus on it and get mired in it, the less likely we are to grow positive morale. We’ll get further by just focusing on the image we’re trying to bring into being. Learn more here.

In the ’70′s I was using the creative force of dance/movement therapy to build positive parts of the personality to replace negative parts. Now combined with my business experience, I’m developing the “Dance of Business” concepts. I will be getting a group together shortly to try out some of my experiential exercises. Please respond to this newsletter if you’d like to be included.

You’ve received some tools to create your own stimulus package. Take back your power and control your own destiny. Be creative and take advantage of the economic situation to help people who need help. Keep yourself positive and validate others with plenty of appreciation.

People have been saying this for a couple of months and I was at a business holiday party this week where this was the theme. Some people say it’s silly, but is it really? So what does it actually mean?

Sure we recognize that The National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) has confirmed that the nation has been in a recession since December 2007.

But here’s the heart of the message.

I Refuse to Let Fear and the Macro-Economy Control My Destiny.

The weakened economy, poor consumer confidence, the uncertainty of the stock market and the lack of available financing will not affect my ability or desire to provide a tremendous value to my clients. It will not influence my Vision or diminish the vital role I play in the businesses and lives of my clients.

The reasons I refuse to participate in the recession are simple: First, I choose to take immediate and consistent action steps that are aligned with my goals and my Vision! The recession has no power over any of these things. Second, I provide an important service that meets a basic need of mankind – guidance and coaching services that help people and organizations create hope, change direction, and prosper when times are good as well as when times are tough.  (I am happy to provide you the names of numerous clients who are stronger and more successful now than ever before!)

So let me ask you two questions:

1) “Are you ready for a new direction and/or improved results?”

2) “Do you also provide a valuable service or product that helps others in the community or around the world?”

If you answered “yes” to both of these questions, then we share a common bond and I am eager to give you these timely instructions:

- Now is the time to plan for 2009 and the future

- Now is the time for creative and inspirational thinking

- Now is the time to expand and find new opportunities

- Now is the time for renewed hope in yourself and your family, community and country

- Now is the time to focus (on your success)

- Now is the time to increase knowledge and skills

- Now is the time to be responsible for your actions

- Now is the time to market and advertise

- Now is the time to give to others

- Now is the time to have fun (and smile more)

- Now is the time to invest in yourself and in your business (or non-profit)

- Now is the time to put fear behind you

- Now is the time for Positive Attitude and Purposeful Action!

You cannot simply wait for answers to come – or for a bailout to rescue you (especially if you’re not a car manufacturer or a bank). If you want results tomorrow and in 2009, you need to follow these instructions and act now!  The first step is always the hardest because it requires a humble gesture of faith. It requires that you pick up your phone and call (or send an email to) a mentor or advisor or a coach – and ask for help and guidance.

I guarantee you that there is no better time to act and start an incredible process of abundance, redemption and renewed hope with Driving IR. Only through hope, can we believe; and only through belief, can we take enthused action!  Truly inspired planning and action inevitably and ultimately always leads to confidence and improved results.

If you now refuse to participate in fear (the recession), and instead choose to follow a path of progression, then you need to take some immediate action and call us right away! Here are two things you can do with us to shape your own destiny, Strategic Business Planning and Magnified Marketing. As always we can provide custom solutions as well.

Business Planning Is Strategic and Proactive

If you’re not doing it, you’re falling prey to the whims of your customers, your vendors and the economy. There are plenty of people and businesses doing well because they’ve taken their futures into their own hands and are steering their own courses through turbulent times being nimble to adjust as obstacles appear. If you’re not, you’re shooting yourself in the foot.

Having clearly defined vision, values, mission, goals and action steps is important. What’s your path and your end game? What will you accomplish this year? Create a new product or service? Do more internet marketing? Target a new niche? Open a new branch? Get x number of new clients? Cut your overhead costs by y%? A lot of thought goes into a good business plan. This yields several goals that are to be accomplished each month of the year in order to achieve your overall desired results. The goals are consistent with a “necessary and sufficient’ filter. They must be ‘necessary’ because you don’t need distractions wasting your resources (time and money). They must be ‘sufficient’ to do the job. Make sure you have goals in all the critical goal categories. Most businesses will need to focus on 1) Marketing, 2) Sales, 3) Product or service fulfillment, 4) Training and development, 5) Business administration. You may have additional goal categories depending on your industry or market.

Do you have a well thought out plan to accomplish what you want? No excuses. Don’t blame anybody but yourself if the company you’re leading isn’t getting ahead. You’ve got to adjust with the times, roll with the punches and dance with your challenges. Where are the new opportunities? Who is buying? Adjust and modify yourself, your target, how you perform your service or fulfill your product, get leaner. Even if you have a plan, has someone else looked at it? I’m facilitating more business plans this year than in prior years  because really progressive people realize it’s the way to leapfrog forward and eat everyone else’s lunch. I offer two different ways to help owners with business plans and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Call me if you want to be an eater and not be the lunch.

Here are some numbers dealing with customer loyalty. It has been proven that organizations with high levels of loyal customers typically grow sales at 2X the rate of their competition. It costs 5 times as much to get a new customer than to keep an existing customer. The most effective and least expensive form of adverting is word-of-mouth. An organization with disloyal customers will typically spend 4 to 5 times more in advertising to get additional customers. Loyal customers will be less likely to be swayed by discount pricing and other incentives offered by the competition. They are generally willing to pay more and are more forgiving if there is a mistake. 6 out of 10 customers will never return when they experience bad service. They won’t complain, they just won’t come back. The ultimate question to measure customer loyalty is, “How likely is it that you would recommend our organization, products and services to a friend or colleague?” Get your customers to answer this question on a scale of 1-10. It has been shown that there is a direct and strategic correlation between an organization’s revenue growth and this customer loyalty score.

Action Step for This Week

Develop a way to measure customer loyalty in your organization. Add up how much customers spend. What get’s measured, get’s focused on and has the best chance of being improved. Develop a questionnaire with the key question. “How likely is it that you would recommend our organization, products and services to a friend or colleague?” Poll your clients via email, phone calls or postcards. Listen, listen, listen. Summarize and share the information throughout the organization. Make this an on-going strategic policy.

Last week we started understanding concepts from Jim Collins’ book Good to Great. After analyzing companies that had met his criteria for explosive and sustained growth, he discovered that each had what he calls “Level 5 Executives”. While levels 1-4 include competent people, Level 5 Executives distinguish themselves by a “paradoxical mix of personal humility and professional will.” They are “fanatically driven to produce sustained results”. They make hard decisions and do whatever it takes to make the company great. They are not ambitious for themselves. He believes that many people have the potential to develop into Level 5 Executives. Level 5 leaders got started on the quest for turning a good company into a great company by bringing on the right people first before developing a vision and strategic plans. They got the best people in the right positions (eliminating people who were not appropriate) and then worked on vision and strategy.

Last week I gave reasons why written goals are so much more effective than no goals or unwritten goals. This week I’d like to introduce you to ‘WHY SMART” goals. Apply these parameters to your goals and you’ll be much more likely to achieve them..

W – write your goals

H – harmonious with your overall plan

Y – yours and yours alone

S – specific so you can achieve them

M – measurable so you know when they’ve been achieved

A – attainable, realistic coming from your starting point

R – realistically high, let’s make it a stretch or what’s the point

T – target dated and time trackable

If you’d like a sure fire way to gain victory over the goal achievement process, give me a call. I’ll help you lay out a format to accomplish one of your goals at no charge.